christinebarry.com

6 years later …

Note: Some of you won’t understand this. That’s ok.

I’m really fortunate to have the audience here that I do. I get judges, lawyers, police officers, reporters, commissioners, and a whole lot more, here at cbdc. I know they don’t come to read about me … that’s fine. That’s good, actually, because I don’t like to talk about me. But today I’m going to take advantage of having all of you here, to ask you for a favor.

I know some of you are hearing all kinds of stories about me. I’m going bankrupt, I’m going to jail, I killed my little brother, I’ve threatened to kill a bunch of children, I run a sex-crime ring, I’m a pedophile … I know that’s not all, but that’s just what I’ve been hearing lately.

I know who’s behind all this. I know he’s supporting the Sheriff, and that part of the reason he’s attacking me now is to punish me for criticizing the Sheriff. But mostly, he just wants to hurt me, because I hurt him a long time ago.

Some of you know who I’m talking about. Some of you don’t, and I’ll just leave it that way. (You might end up being really confused. Sorry about that. This post really is only for a handful of people.)

If you hear a story about me that sounds ridiculous, it probably isn’t true. If you believe it, or you happen to dislike me or think I’m of low character, that’s fine. I’m not going to spend my life playing whack-a-mole, trying to smack down every ugly rumor that pops up, and I’m not going to beg anyone to like me or believe what I say. Nope.

But I do ask you to consider this … the person who is starting all of these rumors, regularly goes out of his way to be in places where he thinks it’s likely that I’ll be. He hangs out on websites where he knows I am, and posts under a bunch of different user names and tries to pick fights with me. Offline & in person, he talks about me to anyone who will listen, saying whatever he thinks will hurt me the most.

Meanwhile, I avoid the places where I think he might be (chamber meetings, technology meetings, etc). I refuse to engage him online, even when he calls me out by name. I never speak of him, except in rare cases to address a particular rumor. And even then, I don’t speak of him … I don’t mention his name or say anything that would harm him or his credibility. I just tell my side of the story, and move on.

So the favor I’m asking is that when you hear that rumor, or you see that out-of-context piece of paper that “proves” that the rumor is true … please ask yourself, if what he’s saying is true, then why is he working so hard to be a part of my life? Why is he still trying to be near me physically or online, and why does he want me thinking of him?

Seriously … if you and your children were being terrorized by some crazy criminal pedophile bankrupt murdering bitch, would you be going out of your way to be in places where you think she will be? Would you be taunting her on the internet, trying to provoke a reaction? Would you interrupt a completely non-related conversation, so that you could talk about her? Is that how you would act, if you were a victim of all these crimes?

6 years ago, when all this started, the two of us were having a terrible time. I can’t speak for him, but I was angry all the time, and I just wanted him out of my life. I said some really mean things to him, and I’m embarrassed that those kinds of things came out of my mouth. (or my email account). I totally take responsibility for the things that I (really) did. I shouldn’t have been so mean and so childish about it, no matter how angry I was. Both of us were guilty of bad behavior, and I think it reflects poorly on both of us. I’m not proud of it and I don’t want to be stuck there.

That’s the difference between the two of us. The bad behavior on my part (the stuff that I actually did, that is) … I’m not doing that anymore. I’m not mad at him anymore, and I’m not trying to hurt him. As recently as last week, I was actually giving him credit for the success of a particular something. (I’m being deliberately vague, as I’m trying to not identify him). I look back on it and just wish that things could have been different. The man does have a good side to him. He’s got a really good person in there. I suppose I just hurt him to the point that I brought the worst in him. That’s my own fault, for deliberately saying things that I knew would hurt him. But … 6 years of punishment, for calling him names or sending him nasty emails?

Fine. Raise your hand if you’ve never done something dumb when you were mad? How long do you think you should be punished for that? Do you think 6 years is long enough?

I recognize that this post might be a mistake. I’m breaking my own rule of not responding to him. But, I’m just out of options. I’ve spent years ignoring him. I’ve spent years not responding. I’ve spent years deliberately avoiding places where he will be. None of this has worked. So, now I’m just hoping that I can appeal to his better side. Maybe he’ll see that I’m out here taking responsibility for my role in this mess, and he won’t be angry at me anymore. Maybe he’ll decide that 6 years of punishing me has been enough.