WWDD – What Won’t Dick Do?

I thought Dick DeVos wanted to be in the company of Michigan Governors. Why wouldn’t he release his tax return?

Is it because …

he’s rich?     The popular theory among my fellow Dems is that once people see how much money DeVos has, his ‘regular guy’ appeal will disappear. I don’t buy that. Sure, he’s got more money than Willy Wonka, but that can’t be the reason. He seems to think it’s cute when he flaunts his money and makes fun of the poor. (personally I give my spare change to the homeless Vietnam Veteran on Miller at I-75) Besides, Willy Wonka is really popular. Cruella’s bitchiness makes us laugh, and lots of us identify with Bruce Wayne’s angst. A guy who can make the list of the fictional 15, can’t be all that bad. So Dick’s wealth is probably not what he’s trying to keep secret.

he’s poor?      It’s highly unlikely, but could it be that our billionaire candidate has less money than we think? Might there be only 8 zeroes instead of 9 on that bottom line? Not that any of us normal-folk would care, but it might hurt his credit with the Republican Caucus.

he thinks we won’t understand it?      It’s true … most of us are products of secular public schools. We haven’t had the benefit of being taught God’s math, so we probably can’t understand a billionaire’s tax return. But even with my Corunna education, I can figure this out:

       DeVos is an evangelical Christian
+     DeVos has spent millions of his own money to get public money into private schools
+     85% private schools in Michigan are Christian schools
+     DeVos claims his crusade has nothing to do with religion
+     DeVos claims his crusade has nothing to do with destroying the MEA
=     DeVos thinks we’re all stupid

he cut 1400 jobs & invested in China?      When times were tough, Dick decided to unemploy Americans while investing heavily in Asian markets. That kind of thing doesn’t go over well in Michigan, for obvious reasons.

…oh … but that kind of thing isn’t on a tax return. So that’s probably not the reason.

it’s all done in pictures?      Tax breaks of biblical proportions can’t always be expressed in numbers. Sometimes a little artistry is required. The $300 million dollar tax loophole engineered for Amway by Newt Gingrich damn near parted the seas.

If the DeVos’ show the world their tax return, we might all see the face of Mary.

his tax return doesn’t matter?      Move along, nothing to see here … but as long as we’re talking about Dick’s tax return, then we’re not talking about his little black book. Let’s take a look at some of his fellow Amwayans:

• George W. Bush
• Rick Santorum
• Tom DeLay
• Bob Ney
• Grover Norquist
• Ralph Reed

By the way, that’s not only a partial list of Amway associates; it’s a partial list of Abramoff associates as well.

he claims the GOP as a dependent?     ‘Nuff said.